Cybil Blaine does… time management in San Telmo!

There are many things people tell you that you should and shouldn’t do with limited time. If you’re an expat like I am, you want to live like a vacation and do it all. And although you can’t, the fact is that you should never give up doing what you love.

Oh, those Mayans!

According to the Mayan calendar, today marks exactly five years until the end of the world. While I don’t particularly believe any of that, I do find it refreshing in an odd way.

Photo credit: me in 5 years, onboard a wicked-ass spaceship.

I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but I do enjoy the idea of only having five years left to live. It’s a wake-up call, right? And it makes me think of how I would live my life differently if that’s going down.

Miss Cybil would work harder, travel more, and be nicer. She might also take up meth so I wouldn’t have to sleep as much. So Jimmy, what I’m saying is that Mayans have given us all a perfectly valid, possibly legal, excuse to do meth, and it would be awful to think otherwise.

Things Miss Cybil misses about America

Hey, all of you chic kids! I know I’ve been away for a bit, but… well, what can I say? Sometimes, I miss America. For one, the delicacies are recognizable, the palates are well-formed, even amongst the local youth.

Photo credit: a sick bastard who let someone else force-feed this helpless kid into oblivion.

I mean, a culture that knows the meaning of the words patience, tolerance, and moderation has a lot to teach, and give, the world at large. And I’m just not getting this sort of lesson in Argentina.

A “friend” of mine recently came out with a book. And finally, a reviewer got it right. It was like PJ O’Rourke knew the kid! Or some kid. Maybe even this one:

Photo credit: luckiest bastard alive.

Isle of Novio

Sometimes, it’s good to get away every now and then!

Especially if the New Jersey Department of Child Welfare is hounding your ass. Or when, upon your return, you end up in some hobbit hole in Uruguay with your mother.

Or, perhaps, if it’s because you’ve been spending lots of time with a hottie.

Alas, hotties aren’t everything. (You heard Miss Cybil right!) So more, soon… I swear, Gladys! Don’t you just hate these cliffhangers!?!?!?

Returning to Buenos Aires? Miss Cybil did that!

Argentina, I want my money back. First, I had to deal with the inanity that was the “south” of Argentina, just because I was politely asked to leave my hotel. (And Jimmy suggested I leave the city for a while, even though those nuns had it coming, I tell you!) But then I decided to come back to Buenos Aires.

So Lois, I went to the park. And you know what I saw? A couple that seemed to be on the verge of divorce.

Photo credit of impending doom: Cybil Blaine

Granted, you might not be able to tell from the photo. But I can. Just look at how resigned to a life of despair they both seemed to be!

And then, you know what? Some guy came up to the cars while they were at the stoplight!

Photo credit of impending chaos: Cybil Blaine

In New York, when you were at a stoplight, they just pissed on the cars. But this guy, he was playing the trumpet. I liked it better when they pissed on the cars. At least the world wasn’t pretending to be nice for a minute.

So I tried to decompress by going to this paseo part of the park with marble something-or-other and lots of trees and roses. Sounds nice, right? Well, just take a looksie:

Yeah, that’s right. This random, anonymous girl just got all up in my face at the park! Photo credit: Cybil Blaine.

People, I tried to have a nice day, but disaster was all around me. So then I left the park and went back downtown. Could I get a second of peace and quiet? Not so much. I mean, really. Like the weather wasn’t bad enough!

(But they were still cute!)

What I’m trying to say is that this city, it needs help. Not me, I swear.