A few things to know:
1. Cybil Blaine is a black belt—in making life fabulous! I’ve saved orphanages and gotten great discounts on Manolo Blahniks. I’m also into Pilates, shopping, chess boxing, the great outdoors, Pablo Neruda, Postmodern American fiction, Sex and the City, underwater photography, tantric sex, baking pies, Japanese tea ceremonies, particle physics, and sudoku!
2. Cybil Blaine is a new divorcée. So this finger? No rock, boys!! And that won’t last long!
3. Cybil Blaine’s bizarre divorce settlement was featured in the news. Under the restraining order and the good advice of Jimmy Horowitz, Esq., I’m going to live where my quote-unquote alimony will pay for my lifestyle until I “become fit to regain entry into the United States and get my act together.” (I love legalese!!) Basically, even though Cybil Blaine cannot be bought, she’s also willing to head to South America for a year and do the whole “living it up in Argentina” bit, just to get more money in the long run. Why? Women’s lib! I mean, I put Voldemort (the ex) through dental school. Does that deserve nothing? It deserves something, restraining order or no. So, after I do this for a year, ka-ching! Then the state of New Jersey will give me the full alimony I deserve.
4. Cybil Blaine likes to keep shit real. I’m going to dust off my housewife tiara and take this “Buenos Aires” by storm. You see lemons? I see lemon meringue pie! I’m doing the whole burro-and-Che-Guevara bit! I’m going to look for—brace yourself, Gladys—authentic Argentina. Or something. Because just for once, I’d like something real in my life.
5. Above all, Cybil Blaine is “with it”! Which is why I’m going to do the whole “blog thing”! Eat your heart out, South America!
6 responses so far ↓
Retro Fashion // November 3, 2007 at 5:00 am |
I don’t understand why so many women go crazy for Manolos.
Laura // March 24, 2008 at 12:33 am |
You are a shallow and disrespectful person who, if this country had not had a 3:1 peso-dollar convertibility wouldn’t have set foot here. You’ve made fun of our people, our money, our streets, our food, our economical situation (“they’re so poor”), everything. It is as if you had come here to criticize instead of learn, and to make your money (which you got – let me see how… getting a divorce??) last longer.
You’re always calling us Mexicans although we’re Argentine – this is no offense to the Mexican. I guess they would feel the same if it had been otherwise. You’ve been here for long and still don’t know that, or the name of our language? You have no respect.
guillermo // June 20, 2008 at 5:04 pm |
I dont know if you are trying to be funny….but people from Argentina are Argentine-not Mexican-and the language that they speak is Castillian Spanish-and not Mexican.
Buenos Aires unfortunately is being overpopulated by stupid americans who relish in the fact that they can come to a poor country and live like a rich man and piss on the country and its people, instead of staying in their own hypocrite country where they belong. it is shameful!
I dare you to say these things to your neighbors and see how fast the smack your face
Lana // June 21, 2008 at 8:27 pm |
hey! I’m heading to BA in Aug for 10 weeks. I’m a UCSD student. I was looking to make connections to maybe get an intership with a hotel or something. Have any advice? Would love to get in touch with you. email me please! lanapuckett@hotmail.com
John // September 26, 2008 at 11:17 am |
Is this blog a joke? Or is all this ignorant, bigoted garbage you’re spewing real?
Nick // November 4, 2008 at 4:49 pm |
Nope, it appears this is as real as it gets. The kind of Real where you need to close your eyes, hard, for one terrible moment.
Lest we all remove judgment from our lives, let’s give thanks to this blog for reminding us what exactly judgment is for.
You’re a crass, rascist moron, by the way.
Lo siento mucho, mi amigos de Argentina, lo siento por todo los Americanos.